Extreme Blood Loss
by masruiiiik
Summary: There are many ways one can lose severe amounts of blood. With Naruto, this includes Hinata, an extremely tight-fitting leather dress, and blackmail. Naruto/Hinata Sasuke/Sakura


**Extreme Blood Loss**

_-N-_

"Well," Sakura started as she flipped through the sheaf of paper held in her hands, "Naruto has a severe case of blood loss…" Sakura chewed on her bottom lip with a worried expression marring her features.

"I kind of figured, Sakura," Sasuke replied with his hands stuffed in his pockets, an epitome of 'cool'. But if one knew Sasuke long enough (such as Sakura did), they would know that slight furrow between his brows and the fact that his eyes were slightly narrowed indicated a massive amount of concern.

Sighing, Sakura glanced at the blonde ninja curled up on the hospital bed, looking pathetically weak and fragile and small. His usually tanned skin was unusually pale, and his breathing was laboured and extremely soft. "I can't see any cuts or bruises forming on him, what happened?" Sakura asked, her green eyes looking pointedly at the Uchiha prodigy.

Sasuke frowned and began the tale.

_-N-_

"Hey Sasuke," Naruto drawled out as he lounged on his sofa, a bag of chips resting on his stomach while a trail of drool traced down to the point of his chin. "Hey Sasuke…" Naruto repeated.

"What?" Sasuke asked irritably. Staying in the same room with Uzumaki Naruto for more than an hour had that kind of effect on Sasuke.

"How did your date with Sakura-chan go?"

Immediately, Sasuke sat straight up while flushing slightly red. "I didn't go on a date with Sakura." He proclaimed while throwing a glare at his friend's direction.

"Sure you guys did," Naruto nodded vigorously, "I saw you guys with my own eyes Sasuke."

"Naruto, I don't know what you're talking about. You must be mistaken. I never went on a date with Sakura and I never will go on a date with Sakura." He stared out of Naruto's window to the birds chirping merrily outside before adding as an afterthought, "She's too annoying."

_-N-_

"WHAT?" Sakura screeched rather suddenly, "I'm too ANNOYING?"

Sasuke winced as his eardrums rattled painfully and his brain jumped and bounced off the recesses of his head as the pink-haired girl/woman's scream echoed around the room. Internally, Sasuke agreed that yes, she was just too annoying at times, but outwardly, he asked monotonously, "Do you want me to continue or not?"

Glaring kunais as her kind-of-boyfriend, Sakura griped bitterly, "No, I can guess what happens next. Naruto continues to nag to you that we _did_ go on a date, and then you end up beating him up to a bloody pulp. Am I right?"

Sasuke blinked.

Sakura glared while internally swooning at how hot Sasuke looked at that moment, staring and blinking confusedly at her with his chicken-butt hair slightly mussed. Swoon.

"No, you're not right." Sasuke finally broke the silence, "You just told me that you couldn't find a scratch on his body, if Naruto's body is completely scratch-free, how could I have beaten him up into a 'bloody pulp'?"

Sakura huffed indignantly.

"Besides, that was the only excuse I could find."

"Of why you wouldn't want to date me even though you did contradict yourself by going on a date with me anyways?"

"There were more benefits than drawbacks of dating you."

While Sakura blushed hotly at the memory of their date, Sasuke continued.

_-N-_

"We didn't go on a date," Sasuke gritted through his teeth for the tenth time in that minute, "Just let it go you idiot."

"So that means you did go on a date!" Naruto bounced up and down his couch happily.

"How does that mean I went on a date with Sakura?"

"Well, you did tell me to let it go, which means that there's something to let go which means you went on a date with Sakura-chan!" Naruto beamed, looking proud that he'd come to that conclusion.

"You're an idiot," Sasuke rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on; "I didn't go on a date with Sakura, alright?"

"Then how do you explain this?" Naruto asked dramatically while pulling out several pictures with a nice swooping effect. Slamming them down on the table, he turned his blue eyes expectantly at the turned-good prodigy.

Sasuke gaped at the pictures lying innocently on the table. There were seven very-nicely taken pictures in total, all in full color and each and every one of them as clear as day. On the first picture, there he stood handing Sakura some flowers while tinged a light pink. On the second they were strolling down the streets looking slightly awkward. Each picture showed him and Sakura looking very much on a date. And finally, the last picture had an image of Sakura pecking Sasuke lightly on the cheek, while even in the dim light; the latter was as red as the tomatoes he loved.

Sasuke didn't really think rationally through his next course of actions. One second, he was sitting there gaping like a goldfish, and the next, he had launched across the table in hopes of taking the pictures from Naruto and also to strangle the blonde into submission… or death, whichever one happened first.

In a series of fluid motions, the pictures were wrenched from Naruto's grasp and into Sasuke's. Getting off from the floor, the Uchiha felt an arrogant smirk crossing his features. That had just been too easy.

But Naruto had just gotten back up while mirroring his friend/rival's smirk before chirping happily, "Oh, you want them? Keep those pictures; I have like… a thousand more copies."

Sasuke stared. Then, he sighed and asked softly and bitterly, "What do you want?"

Grinning somewhat maniacally and wholly evilly, Naruto said, "I want you to buy me ramen for a whole month, when I want it, wherever I want it."

Sasuke glared but nodded stiffly.

"Good," Naruto smiled. "Because I'm hungry right now, believe it!" He either ignored or seemed to be ignorant of the fact that he was surrounded by chip bags, all of which he finished in that same hour. "Let's go!"

Reluctantly getting up, Sasuke followed Naruto to the door. The latter enthusiastically yanked the door opened but suddenly paused. The next thing Sasuke knew was that blood started spewing everywhere, and Naruto dropped dead to the floor with a dazed expression on his face and then there was screaming emitting from-

_-N- _

"What?" Sakura asked urgently, "What happened?"

"Hinata was wearing a tight-fitting leather dress," Sasuke deadpanned, "while doing a very seductive catwalk in Naruto's apartment's hallway."

Sakura sweatdropped, "You mean…?"

"Yes." Sasuke nodded once.

"And Naruto…"

"Yes," Sasuke continued, "as soon as he fainted, I rushed him to the hospital. I was… nervous that if he lost anymore blood, he would die."

"So, let me get his straight," Sakura stared curiously as Sasuke with twinkling green eyes, "He opened the door, saw Hinata in a tight-fitting, leather dress…"

"That was so short, Hyuuga would kill Naruto (and me) if he knew that we saw his 'innocent' cousin like that." Sasuke interrupted helpfully.

Giggling slightly at Sasuke's wry voice, the medic-nin continued, "And then started nose-bleeding massive amounts of blood."

"Blood was also gushing out from his ears," Sasuke supplied, rolling his onyx eyes.

"How did Hinata react?"

"She blushed, stuttered out something, and then fled for it."

"I figured," Sakura sighed before laughing lightly at the predicament their blonde teammate found himself in. "By the way, Sasuke-kun," Sakura twirled a light piece of hair around her fingers, "What happened to the pictures?"

"Well, I plan to go back to Naruto's place and to find all of them before burning all of them with my fire-style jutsu. And then if Naruto is awake by then, I'll go through my plans of strangling him."

Nodding at Sasuke's rational thinking, Sakura asked innocently, "Can I have a copy of the picture with me kissing your cheek?"

Sasuke sighed, "Fine."

Beaming, Sakura leaned over and kissed Sasuke on the cheek again before leaning back and giggling.

"Hinata… chan… so sexy… like ramen…" Naruto muttered in his unconscious fit while Sakura and Sasuke flirted shamelessly.

_-N-_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**A/N: I'm sorry if the characters seemed… awfully out-of-character. It's my first time working with Naruto characters, and I tried my hardest but…**

**This story started out with about a hundred words, something short and simple, but it kind of spun totally and completely out of control. :D My bad. I hope you enjoyed this!**

**Reviews = love**

**Love,**

**Harmony**


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